It seems like a good while that I sat down to write about things – is is just me or do the days pass by so quickly that they almost disappear into a foggy blur ?
As I have got older TIME has become a much considered aspect of my life – i didn’t think of the implications of time in my twenties and thirties, when my sons were toddlers I seemed to wish time away, always onto the next stage of development or waiting for something else to fall into place. Time came and went and i didn’t acknowledge or respect it. Time then made its presence felt as i got into my forties, the realization that here I am and my babies have grown up , people have gone, moved on, died, changed.
Then I had a respect for time !! I found it to be a thing of value, a commodity not to be wasted on trivia, bad relationships or pointless ventures. I know i have only so much of Time, it can be wonderful, fulfilling, life affirming period or a waste of energy and resources, I guess its about finding a balance of what is dear to you and your priorities.
Sometimes when i feel down or ‘hormonal’ I become angry and guilty for allowing myself to be robbed of time that could be spent being happy and untroubled by life’s turbulence I suppose I am just a human and I believe an empathic one so my question is – is it part of the human condition to experience happiness all the time ? the world of media and advertising would have us believe that we ‘should be happy’ vital and fit with limitless energy, The world of medicine makes billions out it, I am certain there are others out there, who feel the deficit of reality versus what society dictates we ought to be !
I think we should feel OK that we don’t always feel OK- ups and downs are healthy, feelings of disappointment, a period of low mood, even anger are a natural and transient state of being but we are urged to spend money on buying things to make us feel ‘better’ the high of a new purchase does not last long so we repeat the cycle A few duvet days of recovery and thinking and self care shouldn’t be a source of self scorn or be judged by other people as lazy or good for nothin’ ! of course this type of behavior does not sit well in a productive and consumerist culture, everybody wants a piece of our time, but remember your time is not infinite, spend it wisely.